Publication: Bizarre News
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BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, March 26, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Behold the power of the Internet. A Jacksonville, Oregon
man was the victim of terrorism, or perhaps a personal
vendetta or maybe just a cruel prank when belongings were
stolen from his property in such a way that he has little
chance of getting much of it back.
Police say the belongings were removed a day after a pair
of hoax ads appeared on Craigslist. The ads popped up
Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of the Jacksonville
home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belong-
ings, including a horse, were free for the taking.
But the ads were a hoax. Robert Salisbury had no plans to
leave.
The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got
a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim
his horse.
On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work
ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.
"I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give
the stuff back," Salisbury said. "They showed me the Craigs-
list printout and told me they had the right to do what they
did."
The driver sped away after rebuking Salisbury. On his way
home he spotted other cars filled with his belongings. Once
home he was greeted by close to 30 people rummaging through
his barn and front porch.
Salisbury turned some license plate numbers over to police,
and late Monday some people who learned of the hoax did
return some items taken from the home.
Detectives have contacted Craigslist's legal team to try to
trace the ad. Meanwhile, Salisbury could not even relax on
his porch swing -- someone took it.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum
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+------------------- Bizarre Inventions -------------------+
In the 1980's, French women Dominique Peignoux, Yvette
Guys and Francoise Dekan marketed a musical napkin that
was placed inside a baby's diaper and played "When the
Saints Go Marching In" as soon as it became wet.
William A. Calderwood of Peoria, Arizona patented helium
filled furniture that would float to the ceiling when not
in use to allow extra floor space and be pulled back down
by a rope as needed.
It was in 1966 that America's Thomas J. Bayard invented a
vibrating toilet seat, acting on the belief that physical
stimulation of the buttocks is effective in relieving
constipation.
James Moreau developed a brassiere in 1988 which surrounds
the breasts with water, so that a buoyant force provides
improved and independent support for each breast. A
transparent version is suggested for those who wish to
make a fashion statement.
In 1984, Inventor Timothy Zell developed a method of grow-
ing unicorns that are of higher intelligence and physical
attributes, They are also said to be useful as a guard
animal. What you may not want to know is the method
involves surgical alteration of a one-week old goat, so
that its two horn buds will grow together.
***
--------- Lottery winner back at McDonald's job ----------
CARDIFF, Wales - A Welsh man who won a $2.6 million lottery
jackpot has returned to his job at McDonald's because he
missed his co-workers. Luke Pittard, 25, who quit his job
at the Cardiff, Wales, restaurant after he and Emma Cox,
29, his girlfriend as well as co-worker, won the jackpot,
said he decided to go back to his old position as staff
trainer at McDonald's after living the rich life for 18
months, The Daily Mail reported Monday. "They all think
I'm a bit mad but I tell them there's more to life than
money," he said of his co-workers at the fast-food
restaurant. "I loved working at McDonald's before I became
a millionaire and I'm really enjoying being back there
again." "Lots of my old McDonald's workmates came to our
wedding and I had kept in touch with them all the time,
so I just thought: 'Why not go back?'" Pittard told The
Daily Mail. "To be honest, there's only so much relaxing
you can do. I'm only young and a bit of hard work never
did anyone any harm."
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------- Officials: FBI to fire three over noogie --------
BOSTON - FBI officials said the bureau has decided to fire
three agents after one of them gave a noogie to a female
federal prosecutor in Boston in 2006. The officials said
a U.S. Justice Department investigation into the incident
led the FBI to conclude that the agent who gave the Three
Stooges-style noogie while the two others looked on should
be fired, The Boston Globe reported Monday. Investigators
said they concluded Supervisory Agent Robert Callen acted
inappropriately when he touched the prosecutor without
her permission. They said Callen and the two other male
agents, whose names were not released, lied about the
incident when questioned about the events. An FBI spokes-
woman in Boston said the agents have not been fired, but
officials speaking on condition of anonymity said they
are likely to be dismissed. Callen, who is eligible for
retirement in June, and the two other agents will have
60 days to appeal their firings after they are notified.
--------- Hypno-thief robs Italian businesses ------------
ANCONA, Italy - Italian authorities are searching for a
thief who allegedly uses hypnosis on employees to steal
cash, police said. The most recent report of hypnosis-
thievery was in the Italian city Ancona, where a bank
teller was allegedly coaxed into giving a robber more
than $1,000, The Daily Telegraph (Britain) reported
Monday. In all of the hypno-robberies, workers reportedly
can only remember a man saying, "Look into my eyes," prior
to discovering their registers are missing cash. Security
footage from a robbery at a grocery store in Jesi, northern
Italy, shows the thief is a suit-wearing Indian, Pakistani
or north African man in his 40s. Police suspect the man has
a female who assists him with the robberies by diverting
customers' attention. "The cashier recalls nothing of the
incident itself. It was only at the end of the day when it
was noticed that the takings didn't tally that the footage
was screened and the robbery discovered," a Jesi police
spokesman said.
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----------- Root beer kegger attracts cops ---------------
KRONENWETTER, Wis. - A root beer keg party hosted by a
Kronenwetter, Wis., high school student attracted police
who suspected underage drinking at the shindig. Dustin
Zebro, 18, said the idea for the root beer party was cooked
up to mock school administrators who suspended some of his
friends from sports after they were caught drinking, the
Wausau (Wis.) Daily Herald reported Monday. The party
displayed enough similarities to parties with the root
beer keg's alcoholic counterparts that police showed up to
administer breath tests to the rowdy high school-age party-
goers. However, every reveler tested was found to be free
of alcohol. "We didn't know it would work well enough to
make the cops show up," Zebro said. The student said he
and his friends believe that underage drinking off school
grounds is a matter to be handled by police, not school
officials. However, Principal Tom Johansen defended the
school's actions. "I think we have an obligation as an
educational institution" to investigate underage drinking
and mete out penalties, he said.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
Bizarre Uncensored
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis that can't be right about it being bad luck in Scotland
wearing green and red together...almost all the clan plaids
are green and red! I know our clan has a plaid. -Elizabeth
[Then maybe it's being Scottish that's bad luck.]
You missed one point. We need physicians. We don't need guns.
Ever. -Doug
[You will never need a gun unless someone is attacking you
with a gun. Then they come in pretty handy.]
Lewis, regarding the British kids who confused Armstrong with
Churchill, I thought it was Roosevelt Who led England to
victory in wwII. -Dennis
[No, no, Roosevelt led the United States into World War II
by ignoring the warnings about Pearl Harbor and giving the
people a reason to reverse their isolationist attitude, much
like Prez Bush is supposed to have ignored intelligence
about 9-11 in order to give the world an excuse for us to
start wars in the Middle East.]
Lewis, your "Bizarre News" always leaves me amazed, amused
and entertained. You're doing just fine. -Jane Beman
[Thanks. I wish you'd talk to my wife.]
I hate to say this, but I have canceled almost all my mail
from gopher except for you because it comes thru Yahoo and
apparently it doen't matter what you have in your address
book, Yahoo can't handle the mail you all send out. -Joan
[Well, maybe that's because Yahoo sucks and doesn't have
anything to do with our mail server.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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