Publication: Bizarre News
A great campaign poster. | |
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BIZARRE NEWS - Wednesday, February 27, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Has everybody seen the picture of Barack O'Bama being cir-
culated around the Internet (and not by the Clinton people
if anybody asks...they were at the movies when it happened)?
It's a picture of the Illinois senator dressed in traditional
Somali attire (which looks similar to traditional terrorist
attire) taken during O'bama's trip to Africa in 2006.
It just so happened to be dribbled out to the well-informed,
astute and unbiased general public as the Clinton campaign
is starting to tank hard. The perception is that the picture
will tarnish O'bama's image hurting his chances to receive
nomination.
If that's all it takes I will never be able to run for an
office...not even alderman. There is a picture out there
somewhere of me during a 'camping' trip I took with some
friends shortly after college. Somehow the men had gotten
into a strip volleyball game with the women which we lost,
but by a narrow margin.
I don't remember the details, but the picture consists of
me and my best friend at the time, Manuel (or Manny, as we
called him), arm-in-arm dressed in our girlfriends' bikinis.
I'm sure that would make a great campaign poster. I can just
imagine the campaign slogan.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out... Bizarre News Forum
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+------------------ Bizarre Coincidences ------------------+
1. In the 1930s in New York, a commuter train dove off an
open drawbridge into Newark Bay killing 30 passengers. The
newspaper published photographs of the incident and the
number 932 could be seen clearly on the side of one of the
coaches. A large number of people selected that number for
the Manhattan numbers game and the number came up! Thousands
of people won.
2. On the 26th November, 1911, three men were hanged at
Greenberry Hill in London after being convicted of the murder
of Sir Edmund Berry Godfrey. The killers names were Robert
Green, Henry Berry and Lawrence Hill.
3. In 1899 a man was killed by a bolt of lightning as he
stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy. Thirty years later,
his son was killed in the very same spot by another bolt of
lightning. On October 8, 1949, Rolla Primarda, the second
victim's son (and grandson of the first victim) was also
killed in the same spot by yet another bolt of lightning.
4. In 1979, Das Besteran, a German Magazine, held a writing
competition. Readers had to send in unusual stories based on
real life occurrences. Walter Kellner from Munich won with
his story about flying a Cessna 41 between Sardinia and
Sicily. In his story he had engine trouble, landed in the
water, and was later rescued. An Austrian man, also named
Waltner Kellner, wrote to the paper and told them that the
winner of the prize had plagiarized the story because
virtually the same thing had happened to him. The magazine
checked out both stories and found that they were both true,
despite being nearly identical.
***
----------- Typo causes $11,384 utility payment -----------
ORLANDO, FL - A Florida man said getting his money back
proved difficult after he accidentally paid the Orlando
Utilities Commission $11,384 instead of the $113.84 he owed.
Larry VanFleet said a misplaced decimal point on the check
he sent to the commission resulted in his bank account being
cleared out. VanFleet said he spent two weeks trying to get
his money back from the company, but all he was offered was
an $11,000 account credit. "I don't want an $11,000 credit
to have my bill for seven years," VanFleet said. "I mean,
come on!"
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---------- Truckers charged with stealing iPhones ----------
NEW YORK, NY - Two New York truck drivers have been charged
with stealing a shipment of 300 iPhones en route to Hong
Kong by substituting shredded paper. Investigators said the
plan was concocted after Emanuel Etienne and Jarred Thomas,
both of Baldwin, picked up the shipment Jan. 9 at a ware-
house in Valley Stream. Lt. John Azzata, a detective with
the Nassau County Police, said they stopped at a stationery
store and spent $100 on paper. After removing the phones,
valued at $142,500, the truckers allegedly drove the ship-
ment to Cathay Pacific Airlines at Kennedy International
Airport. The theft was quickly detected once the boxes were
opened in Hong Kong and Etienne and Thomas identified as the
last to handle the shipment. The truckers allegedly received
$80,000 for the phones and planned to spend the money to move
to Florida. But they quickly found other uses for it. "We
immediately went on a spending spree and we were dumb," one
of the suspects allegedly told a detective.
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------------ Robot patrols Atlanta neighborhood ------------
ATLANTA, GA - A downtown Atlanta bar owner has constructed a
remote-controlled robot to patrol the neighborhood around
his business late at night. Rufus Terrill, proprietor of
O'Terrills bar, built the machine out of an old meat smoker,
a three-wheeled scooter, an infrared camera, a water cannon
and a loudspeaker. Terrill said he got the idea for the
remote-controlled vigilante after he became fed up with the
drug dealers, thieves and vandals that he said frequent his
neighborhood. He said he sends his robot to patrol the area
surrounding a nearby daycare center, and uses the attached
loudspeaker to address loiterers. "I tell them they are tres-
passing, it's private property, and they have to leave," he
said. "They throw bottles and cans at it. That's when I shoot
the water cannon. They just scatter like roaches."
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E..
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, The story of the guy who "actually lived at London's
Gatwick Airport for three years" amazed me too. I like the
idea of someone paying airport prices for food and drinks
for more than a couple days.
[You can survive for a surprisingly long time on those mints
they put in the urinals.]
Hey Lewis, You know that guy who drove thru the "Dunkin
Donuts" nude from the waist down? Well I think he was just
thinking ahead. In case he decided to have something more
than coffee, he had the perfect donut holder for "hands
free" driving. -Dianne
Hey Lewis, The guy in the red corvette who ordered coffee
and drove off before he received his change sounds like a
pervert with a little 'dinky.' After all, if it were a
decent size, the female employees wouldn't have alerted the
cops to him! Too bizarre. -Alison
[You think? Or maybe you're the only one who is attracted
to flashers.]
Dear Lewis, I feel for the mom with four boys who went on
strike. I have three and sometimes feel the same way. They
fight all the time and never help with the housework. Oh,
my husband works from home and doesn't pitch in either so I
guess I have four boys, too. -Janis
[What you need to do is tie 'em to the bed and give 'em a
good, hard spanking to get his attention. I'm talking about
your husband, of course.]
Lewis- the Florida woman was charged with child neglect for
leaving her kids alone for "hours a day" and the youngest
was thirteen? That's insane. The youngest of them is nearly
old enough to be able to look out for himself for several
hours, and is probably capable of it already depending on
his maturity for his age. The oldest was seventeen; don't
kids several years younger than that baby-sit children much
younger than thirteen all the time?
[Yes, but didn't we all agree in the last issue that most
everybody in Florida is incompetent?]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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