Publication: Bizarre News
Now There's A Woman With Trust Issues | |
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BIZARRE NEWS - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
"Spanning the globe for the weird...strange...and stupid."
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Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I was just reading a story about a woman who had hoarded over
two hundred dogs in her home. When authorities discovered the
problem the woman told them that she was a dog breeder but
couldn't find anybody she liked enough to entrust one of her
dogs to. So she just kept them all. Now there is a woman with
trust issues.
I was more impressed with the following story about hoarding.
After saving change for 13 years, an Indiana man had almost
enough to pay for a $25,000 2008 Dodge Ram pickup truck in
quarters and dollar coins.
Paul Brant of Frankfort was taught to save change by his
father.
"My dad used to save all his change and take us on vacation
each summer," said Brant.
So when Brant started his own family he began saving his extra
coins too. In the first 23 years, he saved about $36,000,
which he used in 1994 to buy cars for himself and his wife.
But that truck did not have 4-wheel drive and so 13 years
later Brant wanted an upgrade, although this time only he got
a vehicle out of the deal.
"The old truck didn't have four-wheel drive, and living in
the country, I figured I better get a new one to help get
me through the snow," he said after buying his new half-ton
pickup truck.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
Bizarre News Forum
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+----------------- More Bizarre U.S. Laws -----------------+
Kansas:
It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie a la mode
on Sundays.
In Wichita, a man's mistreatment of his mother-in-law may
not be used as grounds for divorce.
In Wichita, it is illegal to carry a concealed bean snapper.
In Lang, it is illegal to ride a mule down Main Street in
August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.
In Natoma, it is illegal to throw a knife at anyone wearing
a striped shirt.
Louisiana
In New Orleans, fire trucks are required by law to stop at
all red lights.
It is considered "simple assault" to bite someone in New
Orleans; it is "aggravated assault" if the biter has false
teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.
Maine
In Portland, it is illegal for men to tickle women under the
chin with feather dusters.
The most money one can legally win gambling is three dollars.
In Rumford, it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her land-
lord.
In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
***
---------- Dummy employed by carpool offender -------------
SEATTLE - A Washington state trooper said a motorist cited
for driving alone in the carpool lane was traveling with
an elaborately decorated dummy disguised as a human. State
Patrol Trooper Jeff Merrill said the driver was pulled over
after his dummy, which was in the rear passenger seat,
slumped over so it could not be seen from outside the car,
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported. Merrill said the
driver admitted the dummy -- dressed in a denim jacket, a
hoodie and glasses with a painted-on black beard -- was
intended to fool traffic cops into thinking a passenger
was riding along while the driver used the carpool lane.
"This guy, he went to great extremes," Merrill said. The
man was given a $124 citation, but he was allowed to keep
his mannequin. "It's not a crime to have it," Merrill said.
"But if you use it to cheat, then you're going to get a
ticket."
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----- Golf balls removed from snake sell on eBay ------
CURRUMBIN, Australia - An Australian carpet python's
mistake will help other animals now that the golf balls
it swallowed have been sold on eBay. The high bid was
$1,401 Australian ($1,253 U.S.), the Gold Coast Bulletin
reported. The money will go to help build an animal
hospital at the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary. The winner
gets the still-unwashed balls, as well as X-rays and
photographs of the python before and after successful
surgery to remove them. The python, newly named Augusta,
swallowed the golf balls during a visit to a hen house
last month. The owner had placed the balls in a brood
hen's nest to encourage egg laying. Veterinarians at
Currumbin determined that the python would not simply
eliminate the golf balls and decided to operate to save
the snake's life. "Augusta the snake has received wide-
spread media coverage, and his eBay items have proved
just as intriguing as the story of how he swallowed the
golf balls," said David Luxton, the sanctuary's marketing
manager.
--------- Suspect tracked using trail of poo ----------
DURHAM, N.C. - Police in Durham, N.C., said they were led
to a suspect by the trail of fresh dog-doo he left after
stepping into a pile while fleeing. Authorities said Josue
Herrios-Coronilla, 18, crashed his car into the yard of
Bill McDonald, who owns four dogs, after driving the wrong
way down the street, the Durham Herald Sun reported.
Officers discovered the wrecked car, crushed bushes and a
pile of dog feces with a fresh shoe print. Durham police
Sgt. Dale Gunter followed the smelly trail until he
encountered a white van driving in his direction. He asked
the passenger of the van to exit the vehicle and noted the
odoriferous evidence on his shoes and the smell of alcohol
on his breath. Herrios-Coronilla was charged with underage
drinking and driving while impaired.
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------- Principal offers reward for food fighters --------
COLUMBIA, Md. - A lunchroom food fight at a Maryland high
school went too far -- and the school's principal offered
a reward to anyone naming the participants. The offer of
a $30 reward -- which wasn't paid -- drew criticism from
Wilde Lake High School students. Now school officials are
rethinking whether such a monetary offer was a good idea,
The Baltimore Sun reported Thursday. The editor of the
high school's newspaper said in a commentary the need to
assign blame has had the unintended effect of "immortal-
izing the incident." Principal Restia Whitaker posted the
$30 incentive for information on those who flung food in
the December incident, which officials said escalated to
an unsafe -- and quite messy -- situation. Food wasn't
the only projectile zipping around the the Columbia, Md.,
school lunchroom. "There were water bottles, trays and
utensils," Howard County school system spokeswoman Patti
Caplan said. "It got to be very dangerous." The issue of
offering a cash reward would be on the agenda at the
district's next principals' meeting.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, I've got a solution to the prison food problem. Maybe
if the inmates were required to grow, harvest, preserve,
and prepare their own food, they would have a greater ap-
preciation for what they are eating. As it is, taxpayers
pay for everything they eat and some prisoners eat better
than some children in our country! They should be glad there
is food for them to eat at all! -atrincha
[Large-scale farming is a rather skilled endeavor. Plus, the
logistics of guarding hundreds of prisoners wandering around
hundreds of acres of farm aren't very realistic. Of course,
when they all die from starvation the problem will naturally
correct itself!]
Hey Lewis, Long time reader here, love your column. If these
inmates don't like the food, then give 'em bread and water.
As you know, we who live around the Chicago area already pay
enough in taxes! I'll be damned if I pay more so some
criminal can eat gourmet food. Stay out of jail, and you can
eat whatever you like. -Randy
[I received several comments of a similar trend. There doesn't
seem to be a lot of sympathy for the dining woes of inmates.]
Lewis, thought this might be right up your alley... "A Polish
man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and
spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. The
woman had been making some extra money on the side while
telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town."
[Who would be in more trouble in that situation, do you think?]
Lewis, I have heard of Mad Cow Disease and other weird stuff,
but never knew of any cows that kept a "DIARY". I think you
are trying to milk this one. lol -Dean
About eco-friendly ships. I have read here and there, though
not much, that ship builders are working on designs for
hybrid ships, built with sails as well as the usual means of
propulsion. -JT
[Hate to ruin your anticipation, but all sail boats bigger
than, say, a 16-foot catamaran, have motor propulsion.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: Email Lewis
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