Publication: Fifty & Furthermore
Alternative Partnerships | |
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FIFTY & FURTHERMORE - Thursday, October 19, 2006
"I'm Dr. Dorree Lynn, founder of FiftyandFurthermore.com.
Growing older can be a time for creative and passionate
living, and I will apply my years as a psychologist to
help you with the challenges and wonders that come with
this new life stage."
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Hello and welcome to FIFTY & FURTHERMORE!
Today we'll discuss alternative marriages/partnerships. I
look forward to your input on this very controversial
topic. If you would like to make a comment or ask me a
question, please email me at the address below and as
always, I will do all I can to provide you with the
advice you seek.
As I always say, "life is too hard to do alone - reach
out!"
Dr. Dorree Lynn, Psychologist
Please send questions and comments to:
email Dr. Lynn
Question:
In regards to sex in and out of marriage:
I'm told there is an old Chinese proverb that says,
"Wife who put husband in doghouse
soon find him in cathouse."
Answer:
Confucious say: The Chinese were quite wise, albeit
full of generalizations. Thanks for the quote.
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Question:
I'm wondering what the majority of people my age think
about polyamory. I'm currently seeking a polyamorous
relationship. I'm bisexual, have been all my life, and
have decided that I shouldn't have to choose one or the
other. I don't feel like an outsider; on the other hand,
I'm having a hard time meeting people my age that could
have a long love relationship with more than one person.
What are your insights, Dr. Lynn, and the insights of
some of your wonderful readers?
Answer:
As long as you are not harming anyone or yourself
emotionally or physically, I feel that when it comes
to relationships, being fifty and furthermore has
earned us the right to act in a way that makes us happy
even if a large majority of society may disagree with
our choices. I am sure you are aware of the dangers of
unprotected sex with multiple partners, and I assume
you take the necessary precautions to prevent STDs.
Since most in our generation were raised to believe that
polyamorous relationships are "wrong," you may continue
to have a hard time finding a man or woman your age who
shares your views. If you are upfront and honest about
what type of relationship you desire from the get-go,
you can at least filter out the ones who DON'T agree. Or,
to your surprise, you may end up meeting one individual
who causes you to want a monogamous commitment after all.
Readers, what do you think?
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Question:
Historically, marriage began as a way of "owning" a woman.
It took centuries for humans to recognize equality of women,
and that still is not reality in many places.
Although "outbreeding" is known to be advantageous for a
species, we fail to recognize this. It is probably the
reason nature gives us a sex drive not directed
specifically at one individual.
Sexual fidelity in marriage is the longest running joke
in the history of the human race. It will have no role
in marriages of the future. Eskimos say "You love your
children. We love ALL children."
Answer:
Thank you for that brief historical perspective on mar-
riage and the views of the Eskimos. I just read an
article about how less than half of all households
include a married couple. Clearly the nature of marriage
and of the family unit is changing. I don't know if I
would go as far as predicting that fidelity will be a
lost cause, but the data is certainly supportive of
today's unwillingness to "settle down," so to speak.
Outbreeding may be beneficial for animal species, but
with all the sexually transmitted diseases, especially
fatal ones like AIDS, I can't imagine how that would
help humans move forward. You've definitely provided
food for thought, though. Again, readers, any thoughts?
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For more insight and advice from Dr. Lynn visit:
fiftyandfurthermore.com
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GopherCentral's Question of the Week
Topical, timely, controversial, click the link to answer
this week's GopherCentral.com Question of the Week.
Please take a moment to share your opinion, visit:
Question of the Week
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